It was my birthday yesterday; birthdays make me stressed out.
I used to begin looking forward to my birthday once August appeared on the calendar. It would give me secret pleasure to think that it would be my birthday in five days! Then four!...three!...two!... And then with all the anticipation, and expectations of birthday happiness built up - I would crash on the actual day. It was my party, and I truly did exercise the right to cry.
For many years, I would put on an uncomfortable party dress and strut about, expecting people to celebrate and be grateful for my existence. I believed that a birthday was a special day, and that things would be as I wanted it to be. And it never was.
This year, I decided to let go of all my expectations and be happy with however the day turned out to be.
Event's of the day:
12:01 am - A bird defecates on my right thigh.
8:00 am - I discover bad news sitting in email inbox.
11:46 am - Awful, angry words are exchanged between me and beloved family members
12:45 pm - Mini crisis moment - I ask myself:
- What have I done with my life?
- What should I have accomplished by now?
- Am I ridiculous?"
1:30 pm - I treat myself to a tasty latte
1:35 pm - Sun shines liquid gold through the leaves of a willow tree, being freaking gorgeous.
8:30 pm - I eat a giant slice of a tiramisu birthday cake.
11:59 pm - I realize that the accomplishment of being able to accept exceptionally bad events as part of a lovely birthday is something to be very proud of.